Emotional and Psychological Abuse

Emotional and psychological abuse may not leave physical marks, but they can be just as destructive as physical abuse. Like physical abuse, they are primarily a means of control and a way for the abuser to feel superior. They are also more insidious because emotional and psychological abusers are evasive and often make you believe you are at fault. Distinguishing emotional abuse from psychological abuse is tricky because emotions generally fall under the umbrella of psychology.

However, some people find it useful to separate the two:

Psychological abuse is typically characterised by distorting someone’s sense of reality; this is also called gaslighting. The goal of the psychological abuser is to convince the victim that they are crazy or incompetent. A psychological abuser will distort facts with the intent of undermining their confidence and making them more pliable.

Emotional abuse is more wide-ranging and, some would say, encompasses psychological abuse. Emotional abusers aim to manipulate other people by undermining their self-esteem or resorting to coercive behaviours. Emotional abusers may be prone to shouting or name-calling. They may behave in a disparaging or patronising way to make you feel stupid or incompetent. They may withhold affection until they get their way. Some may go so far as to control the money or hold your things hostage so you will do what they want. They may invade your privacy by going through your things or reading your mail, email or text messages. The abuser often confines a person or isolates them by preventing them from having visits from family and friends or by denying them the chance to attend doctor or other personal care appointments.

Bullying, both in person and via social networking internet sites is a form of emotional and psychological abuse.

Signs of emotional and psychological abuse might include:

• Change in appetite
• Low self-esteem
• Deference
• Passivity and resignation
• Unexplained fear
• Defensiveness
• Ambivalence
• Emotional withdrawal
• Sleep disturbance
• Self-harming behaviours

People who suffer emotional and/or psychological abuse might at first be in denial. It can be shocking to find yourself in such a situation and it is natural to hope you are wrong. Severe emotional and/or psychological abuse can be as powerful as physical abuse and over time, both can contribute to low self-esteem and depression. Some researchers surmise that emotional and/or psychological abuse may contribute to the development of conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia.